One time I struck somebody out of selfdefence, and I still do not regret that one!
I was in teens (about 14) and should have hit much much harder then, as he deserved it, and still does..

And yes, I did hit somebody in a fit of pure anger, and yes, I regret it as I struck harder then I could ever imagen.
That will never happen again, if I am really angry, I will let my head cool and walk away, come to my senses and speak about it when feeling better ^^

Well..
Oh sorry! I did not mean to scare you so much!
Yeah I know it is a long L O N G time ago that I posted here, or anywhere for that matter...
But ... But!
I R here.

And I hope they let me stay a little longer too : )
The final result after a whole year of appointments at the hospital with the Neurologist, going trough the MRI-scan like to many times (I R magnetic hehe), and feeling very unsure about my own organic Hard drive, they say I have a clear, and the only thing left in the brain where the hemorrhage was is scar tissue (and working cells hihi)!
They work again, they forgetting less things, can listen to music without going mad how out of tunes something sounds (when it does not), do not get hysterical when going to the supermarket or any other place with a lot of sounds, do not let me run into objects (thank you hehe) etc.
I took like a year 'sabbatical' off everything 3D, yes I did play some, but not constructive, I played more World of Warcraft (game) instead, with my sweet Hubby, and just enjoyed live as it is. Reason why I stopped with 3D is that at one point, after the accident, I wanted to pull things off which I could not do, and as I was behind all, it felt like I was bringing water to the sea...so then I just thought lets just let it go.

But ... as I hoped, I have a feeling over me at this very moment of energy, wanting to do things, grab something and make it work, and that is something I have not felt for a very long L O N G time.
I do not know how this will work out, and hope it is more than just a spark that last a couple of days.
I hope this one will burn bright, if I may ask forever.

Not going to promise anything, I go with the flow, no rush, just fun, most important.
I also play a little Second Live (which in my case would be my Third Live, as WoW is Second ^^) and that one pushed the creative button again, as you can dress up your 3D avatar all kind of ways, and the clothing and skins there are really good, they work almost exact the same way as Poser, so there is a super linky I love : )
If you ever run into Gwen Jupiter in SL, well, that is me =^_^= Just say Hi, I love to meet friends : )

The sun is shing the whole day ^^
It is cold, but heater is on high here, my colleagues are nagging me about how they are melting when they walk in, but I am sitting still most of the time so Shoo! My office!

Hmmm...
2009 *nom nom*
there are some minor things I would like to do, like;
- getting back into my 3D, MG Design needs to return
- getting our back garden in order, like finally putting a new fence on the left side so we have our OWN garden back (now one big one with the neighbors...I need some privacy lol)
- getting my weight a wee down, not to much, am now 63Kg, was 60Kg...and I do feel those extra 3 :P
- love my loved one a (huge)little more, I am still very happy with my man, Rob, I L O V E you!
- Fun things!
- Not triple and fall down any stairs with a huge concrete planter at the end and hit my head, oktanxbey XD (or I must start wearing a helmet 24/7)
- Ohhhh! And write in my thingy here! :")

*now sits back with eyes wide over this massive text*
I did not know I had it is me : )

I need to get back to work, if I have a 'blurp' or whatnot I will post again.
And remember, I love you :D

Woke up today, cleaned up the pc a bit (like huge amount of MB), rearranged the whole thing and now it looks kinda like Vista (and it is XP)....which I will not buy but I do like how it looks. New pc will be bought this week, in parts, as we will built one ourselvs again, and I hope it is a huge improvement XD.
Rob will take the one I use now, minus my D-drive, that one contains a huge amount that has World of Warcraft and Poser 5, 6 and 7 on with every runtime, my websites and all my work in poser and from the store, plus every bit I bought for poser ^^. He can have it, the drive, but Sophie needs her content to be copied first to an external harddrive, which I also need to buy (ugh).
One side of me is happy to get a new puter, the other feels like she is betraying her poor darling puter that she is working on right now.

I feel a wee better now, have medicine for the high blood presure (at 34 ... wonder how old I get) and next week I have an appointment for the docter regarding my somewhat high blood sugar (glucose) (bah, why one thing right, why not 3 things at a time grrrr)
I wonder.....how everything goes, will just have to wait and see, noting to do then wait and take it all in....just hope I do not have to inject myself with glucose at all, please : (

I am doing my best to get more exercise, but after working a full day from eight to five, and be responsible for the housekeeping/making dinner, energy to get your booty on the cross-trainer is not always there, but this week will be 3 times on a row (have to get on today still but will do that for sure)
Will fix the room were the trainer stand too, get a TV in so I do not stare at a blank wall when on it :P (we still saved our old tv so hope it works hehe)

For other things I have no cleu, I eat healthy (yes I do! Eat fruit and verggie a lot, skip lots of fat etc ect..., eat fibers, name it), do not smoke, ride my bike to work every day, and only drink alcohol in the weekend (well...most of the time, sometimes I might drink a glass on Thursday.. sorry)

In march I will get an Head MRI scan, to see if the bleeding inside is completely gone and nothing else is wrong in there.
The bleeding in my braind the day I was taken in to the hospital was the size of a big grape, on the left side, pressing on the part that regulates your speech, reason why I sounded like a retard that day..., and my skull was cracked on the side I fell, the right side :P Guess that will heal aswell, I still have a crust on my head on that part, it will not leave how good I massage it while showering, must be a deep cut, I try not to think about that as I get woozy from the image bah.

Anyway..
If I really have or am beginning to become a diabetic with high blood presure...I wont leave this earth very soon as I am not ready, I have so much I want to do so I will stay for a while, if you do not mind .... and depression are here sometimes too, but the I run to Rob and hide in his arms, or try to watch silly pets (my kitty for example).
My brains have trouble to remember things sometimes, and I mix some words up (like I gave Feb. 29 the name of 'day off' (in Dutch: snipper dag) instead of 'leap day' (in Dutch: schrikkel dag)...he he he.. right .... ^^ But other than thet they are fine *cuddles brains*
And ..
There are things much worse than this..
Right? Jup...

Tryed my hand again on something, made an image with Poser and PSP, seems ok, nothing special, but not to ugly :P will post it online, when I dare too : )
(tried to filter the spelling mistakes, sorry if I missed some)

Hello world...
I am alive, still feel like my brain is fried a bit, but trying my best at live again.

Saturday 26th January I ... fell from the stairs in a restaurant.
How I fell, why I fell, I have no clue, it was weird, I was out for 10 seconds and had a hole in my head (blood was gushing everywhere ieeeeeeeeeee).
Ambulance etc was with us quickly, Rob was scared like hell, and I was really woozy...
They brought us to the hotel as it looked fine, I was scarped enough they told me, and Rob had to wake me every hour, in the morning we took the train home (2-3 hours) and I went to bed.
I really am sorry that the hotel bed had blood everywere...anyway, pardon.
Monday I stayed home, in the afternoon I almost went mad of a headache, but is went a bit better later, after 5 hours. In the night I went sick again, pucked a lot and kept getting up, in the mornng is went ok again, but suddenly round 12 my brain stoped working...
I tried to call Rob with my mobile, but I could not get it work for 10 minutes, I cryed like mad about the headache, Rob called the doctor, and the doctor came over to take a look ...
He was so not sure what was going on with me (I could not make sense, I tried to tell him stuff but it did not work) and he called an ambulance..
They took me to the Hospital, and tested a lot on my head, Rob came from his work to the hospital, and they wanted to keep me, as I made not much sense still, aldo I did my best and it went a wee better slowly.
They made a picture/scan of my head, and found blood inside, the pressure was making me silly.
I had a serious concussion, a hair break line inside my head was making me nuts..so I had to stay in the hospital till last Sunday, 3th of February.
BTW: I love every Nurse there! Thank you all so much for your good care, I am happy you did not think I was too nuts :P
They also found out that I have a super high bloodpresure, my heart bumps like mad, I have medication now, and need to come on check over two week again.....but it makes me frighten.
I am still not feeling like myself, I type at this moment, but it feels weird, I try to rest a lot, but I get weird from relaxing in bed, and when I shift a bit, my heart rates up like mad again : (
Also my left ear is busing like a mad object...hope that will be solved...
I do not know what has happened, I do not know how long this will take, I had to get out yesterday to get my medication, but I never ever been so scared to get out of the door...
I am scared....really...
I have to stay home for another week, maybe if I feel better (I so hope I will) I will try to work some hours a day.
I so need to get control again over myself. Bah. My head is wicked and talking is funny : (
...I really hope I will get better, and I LOVE Rob to bits

Coming around again!
Working on several freebies, from Scrapbook kits to Poser stuff :P
Most of the freebies will be relaesed on faeriewylde.com (Solstice starts on 13th of December)and after the solstice re-released at my own site.
I will try to make some exclusive for Moongraphics, will have one I think for my soon to be released texture pack for the Feary Gown V4(Daz)

The freebies will be:
Winter Wonder Scrapbook page kit
Stars Glas & Metal (PSD)
Textures for the Uwings v2
2 Boxed Backgrounds
2 Fantasy Backgrounds
and with some luck a free texture(s) for the fearyGown and maybe some others

I need to finish this soon as my time will be eaten by Christmas shopping and extra workdays due to the holiday : )
(ok ok also some WoW-ing with the man *hugs Rob*)
Wish me luck!

With Enrique Iglesias ..... am I the only one that has the "OMG SCARY MAN" alarm going off when seeing/hearing him?
I can not help it but I get the shiffers, and they are not the good ones :P

Totally forgot to mention I got some sweet gifts:

Rob gave me a complete set of Jewellery from a special design house from Finland (when I remember the name I will edit this post!) Necklace, ring, earrings and bracelet! I am feeling like a princes :P The gift was for my Birthday and our 15 year anniversary, and it is ever so beautiful *thank you my love*

Lina gave me a gift to spend at Renderosity and ATM I am working out what will stay in my wish list and what goes home lol, thank you so much sweets! *will show what what I got!*

My boss (who is more a friend really, boss sounds so hars hahahaha) came with a metal cookie jar from Disneyland as his two little girls demanded that he would give it to me, and € 20 spending money *woot*

Saturday will be the 'party' nothing much, just family, some bowling and getting dinner at the Greek Restaurant :P
That it is from me, now back to work lol!

AND OMG 2 POST IN 1 DAY! does this mean I can relax for a half year again :D

Ok ... so I am getting older, 34 to be precise ... the fact that people get in shock when I tell my age and say 'noooooo way, thought you were 28 at the oldest' makes me a wee happy, but the fact remains, 34 already (by body, not mind I can guarantee that hehe)
The summer here is really sucky, it rains and when it rains it seems like whole rivers come down. Sun is something that we see once in a while, but never for long.
Yes, I am getting depressed by the weather really, sun child here, miss it a lot :(
Oh well, think we are bound to pick a last minute to Spain or something if possible this October before I crumple up due to cause of to little sunlight (and no, I am not a tanner, color of milk is more my skin tone lol)
I feel like a have to many unfinished things lying around, but no real energy to finish them. I have like tons of stuff to make some new Recourse packs (freebies!) and a free texture for Heaven bound, lot's of Backgrounds (again, free) an unfinished pack for Ozone (not free sorry), started with a pack for Roxana Vampire from Daz, need to finish a book 'In the Night Room' still, level up some of my character in World of Warcraft and run my hubbies character trough Deadmines, and besides all this fun stuff I need to get all the damn weed out of the garden (that is going crazy with this weather, but I am NOT going to do that with my raincoat on sorry) and clean the whole house again from top to bottom (the BIG cleaning *le sigh*)
I need vacation .....
Jup..... A G A I N :)


Special note:
If you found a stray muse wondering about, listening to the name Sofie, dressed in Green and Purple, could you please tell her I am in urgent need of her right now and tell her the way home?
Thank you!
+Cross-poset this from Deviantart as I am a lazy bum today, but hee, my Bday so I may lol*

Better late then never right : )

I linked this image to my album so your Friend page won't get cluttered by 280+ Photo's XD

We both, Rob and me, get a HUGE smile (the kind that split faces) when we are talking about Peru, it was really something I can tell you, but sadly normal live is grabbing us both again so we need to fix things in the house (bedroom closet is on the verges of breaking down, sofa is worn out etc) and garden (fence in the back yard is blown away for 50% bah), not to mention work : )
Besides that I started working again on texture packs for Poser, for Horizon I am trying to finish it this week, after that I start at Blossom (By Mada) and I still have something laying around for Ozone by AS :D